The Favor
by Carleystan
Summary: When pretending to be in love turns into falling in love. Linstead story.
1. Chapter 1

"Lindsey I need a favor." Jay said leaning onto her desk waking Erin from the paperwork induced trans she had been in.

"What do you need?"

Jay seemed a bit reluctant to ask but replied "So you know how I dressed up and was going to pretend to be your fiancé for your high school reunion?" he paused waiting for a response.

"Yes I remember."

"I know we never actually made it to the reunion, but you know I was willing to do it." She cut him off "Spit it out already Halstead!"

"Okay so my cousin is getting married in two weeks, and I need you to go with me and pretend to be my girlfriend."

"Yes I'll go"

"Come on please I…" he paused "Wait did you say you'd go? That was way easier than I thought. I was expecting to have to beg."

Erin laughed "Free booze and the chance to hear embarrassing stories about you from your family? Count me in." she teased

Jay smiled "Okay great it's next Saturday. I'll give you more details later."

The night before the wedding Jay and Erin headed to his parents house after work. The wedding was in Jay's home town so they decided they would just stay the weekend with his parents so they wouldn't have to get up early to make the 3 hour drive.

"I'm only letting you drive because I don't know where were going." Erin said playfully.

"That's fine by me."

"Okay so what does pretending to be your girlfriend entail?" she asked.

"I don't know like hand holding, dancing at the wedding, and most importantly acting like you don't hate me. Simple stuff." He said smiling.

"It'll be tough but I think I can manage." She replied laughing.

He continued his list of demands, "Also act like a girl."

She glared at him "What do you mean by _act_ like a girl you ass?"

Jay laughed, "Like let me open doors, and pull out your chair, and stuff like that, so I don't get chewed out by my mom."

"Oh ok Mr. Chivalrous."

They pulled into a driveway of a cute two-story house in a nice subdivision. It was nearly eleven PM and they were exhausted from a long week. Jay grabbed their two bags and walked to the front door as Erin followed. She looked around smiling to herself thinking 'so this is where Jay grew up.' The door was unlocked and they walked inside. It was warm and homey. Jay set down the bags.

"Mom dad I'm here" he yelled out.

His mom came scurrying down the hallway and met him in a loving embrace.

"Jay I've missed you"

"I've missed you two mom"

Just then his dad walked in and gave his son a brief hug.

His dad looked over at Erin "Who's this pretty lady you have here with you son?" he inquired.

Jay stepped back and wrapped his arm around Erin's waist "This is Erin. My Girlfriend." In his head he noted how strange it felt to call her that. It definitely felt good, but still strange. Erin smiled "Nice to meet you" she started to put out her hand for a handshake when his dad wrapped her into a tight bear hug. She couldn't help but giggle. When he released her, his mom scooped her up into a hug "Nice to meet you Erin."

"Your house is lovely" Erin replied.

Next Jay spoke "Where is Kayla?" wondering where his younger sister was.

"Your sister in out at the bachelorette party" His mother answered.

"You can go ahead a put your bags in your room Jay. I know I usually make you sleep on the couch, but you're a big boy so I think you and Erin here can sleep in the same room." His mother said.

Shocked Jay looked over to Erin for conformation that it was ok with her. She gave his a reassuring smile and nod and they headed up the stairs. Jay's room had old pictures and baseball trophies and looked as though it hadn't changed since he was 15. Erin couldn't help but think it was kind of adorable. She went into the bathroom and got around for bed. When she returned Jay was already under the covers. "Just stick to your side Halstead." She joked then crawled in and dozed off.


	2. Chapter 2

**If you noticed that I posted this chapter and then took it down a few mins later it's because I accidentally uploaded the unfinished version. Oops sorry I'm still new at this. But thank you to everyone thats reviewed, followed, and favorited, it's cool to see people enjoying my first fan fic.  
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The sun crept through the blinds and against her will Erin woke. Her internal clock was so accustomed to waking up early she could rarely sleep in on her days off. It took her a few seconds to realize where she was, and then a few more seconds to realize her head was resting a Jay's bare chest. A shy smile appeared on her lips. Last night she had told him to stay on his side of the bed, but apparently it was her that needed the warning. She felt his chest rise and fall with every soft inhale and exhale, and could hear his hearts steady beat. She knew she should probably move but she was so warm and comfortable.

Jay woke up and noticed where Erin was laying. He didn't remember how they got there in the middle of the night, but he had no complaints. He closed his eyes and pretended to still be asleep while thinking about how easy and perfect it felt having her in his arms.

Erin finally decided to get up and head to the bathroom. The second Jay heard the bathroom door shut a huge grin came over his face. He threw on a tee shirt and some basketball shorts over his boxers and headed downstairs.

"Where is everyone?" Erin asked when she walked into the kitchen.

Jay looked up from the bowl of cereal he was poring himself. "They went to help with some last minute decorating. My mom left a note. Do you want some?" he asked referring to the box of cereal in his hands.

"Yeah I do. Fruity Pebbles were my favorite when I was a kid." She replied.

"What do you mean 'when you were a kid' they are still my favorite!" Jay said back laughing.

Erin smiled "That doesn't surprise me."

Jay looked up and flung a spoonful of the colorful cereal at Erin. She gave him a surprised look before reaching into the bowl of dry cereal grabbing a handful and throwing it at him. She turned quickly on her heels and took off down the hallway laughing.

"Oh it's on now!" Jay yelled chasing after her.

"Catch me if you can Halstead!" she yelled back at him over her shoulder.

Jay followed her into the living room where he grabbed her around the waist from behind. Lifting her up in the air he headed for the couch.

"Put me down!" she screamed while laughing and trying to wiggle out of his arms.

Jay dropped her onto the couch and she swiftly wrapped her arms and leg around him pulling him down. When he started to fall she rolled off the couch onto the floor. Jay turned around onto his back and Erin quickly straddled his waist and pinned his wrist down next to his ears. Catching her breath from the playful struggle she realized just how close her face was from his. Jay had already noticed, and was still as his eyes flickered between her eyes and her lips. He was surprised by how badly he wanted to lift his head and press his lips against hers.

Erin's breathing steadied out and she thought about what it would be like to kiss her partner. She was mustering up the courage to do it when the front door flung open. Jay and Erin simultaneously whipped their heads towards the door, but the rest of their bodies were frozen in shock. Just then Jay's sister strolled into the house looking incredibly hangover and exhausted from the bachelorette party she was just now returning from.

Erin jumped off of Jay and plopped down onto an open section of the couch embarrassed. She could feel the heat in her cheeks and assumed they were bright red. Jay quickly got up to greet his sister and give her a hug. Kayla was feeling to sick to really care, and headed towards the stairs. As she reached the bottom of the steps she looked over "Really on mom and dads couch Jay? Gross." She said teasingly before flashing a small smile and heading upstairs.

Mortified Erin covered her face with her hands. Jay sat down next to her laughing. She buried her head into his chest to muffle the sounds of her hysterical laughing.

"God that was embarrassing" She finally let out between laughs.


	3. Chapter 3

Jay took a shower and put on his dress pants and tee shirt then carried the rest of his suit downstairs to put on last minute. He knew Erin would take some time to get ready so he left her the room and bathroom while he sat in the living room watching sports center.

An hour and a half later it was time to leave. "Lindsey come on we have to leave now or we'll be late!" he yelled form the bottom of the stairs.

"I'll be down in 30 seconds!" she yelled back. Jay smiled to himself knowing that his partners idea of thirty seconds was actually somewhere between five and ten minutes. He paced back and forth in the foyer keeping an eye on his watch. When he heard footsteps on the stairs he turned around claiming, "That was more like eight minutes…." his last few words trailed off. Jay had always known that his partner was good looking, and the night of the reunion she looked hot, but this was different. Jay's eyes grew big as he watched her walk towards him.

"What is someone behind me holding a gun to my head?" Erin said looking back over her shoulder with a confused expression on her face.

Jay looked down at his shoes smiling. "No. It's nothing…It's just you…..You look really beautiful." He finally said.

Erin smiled coyly biting the inside of her cheek. "You clean up pretty nice yourself

Halstead."

They pulled into the parking lot of the church. Jay looked over at her in the passenger seat "you ready for this?" he asked.

"Yup, lets go lie to people in a church" she joked. "You know were going to hell right?"

Jay laughed and then exited the vehicle. Erin waited for him to open her door like she promised she would. When she got out she took his hand and smiled. "Lets do this."

The pair entered the chapel hand in hand. They took a seat next to his parents just as the organ began to play. As the ceremony went on Jay never released her hand. He used the ball of his thumb to draw small circles on the back of her hand. As the bride and groom said their vows Erin could feel Jay take multiple quick glances over at her. For some reason this made her feel shy. She could tell that her cheeks were blushing.

She couldn't stop thinking about what moments had been real, and what moments had been fake between them. Was her partner a surprisingly good actor, or did he have honest feelings for her? It was driving her crazy. She was going over the events of the last two days in her head for the 100th time when everyone started to stand. The ceremony was over and it was time to head to the reception hall.

The second they arrived Erin headed straight for the bar. "I need a drink" she told Jay. Her tone was serious and Jay had noticed that she was exceptionally quiet the whole drive over. She didn't even tease him once.

"Sure. Are you ok?" he asked looking concerned.

"Yeah fine" she said before knocking down the first drink letting the liquor burn her throat.

"Whoa, slow down there slugger. The bar will be here all night." He said while wondering why her mood had changed so suddenly.

She glared at him. "Lindsay what's going on? Did I do something wrong?"

When she heard him ask about her and saw the concerned look on his face she immediately felt guilty. He hadn't done anything wrong. She was just confused and taking it out on him. She promised to be a good fake girlfriend and she intended on keeping that promise.

"Sorry. No everything fine." She said with a smile. "Lets go find where we are supposed to sit." She took his hand and searched for their table number.

After that Erin loosened up. Jay's family was extremely welcoming. A group of his aunts and cousins that had drank way to much told her funny childhood stories about Jay, gossiped about other family members, and completely pulled her into their little group.

While Erin was talking Jay went to the bar to get them another drink. His dad walked over and patted him on the back.

"She seems good for you Jay. I really like her."

Jay looked over towards Erin, who was laughing at a joke his aunt had told.

"Yeah I do to." He said with a smirk.

Just then Erin looked up and saw Jay and his dad looking her way. She flashed him a smile and he nodded back.

"I better get over there dad, I have a feeling they are telling an embarrassing story about me." He said with a laugh.

"Do you mind if I steal her away for a few minutes ladies?" he asked placing a hand on Erin's shoulder.

"You too love birds go on ahead." One of his aunts slurred in her drunken state.

They walked towards the dance floor just as a slow song began to play. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he rested his hands on her hips, rocking back and forth with the music.

"What kind of dirt did they give you on me?" Jay inquired.

Erin laughed, "oh no, I'm saving these jems for the perfect time. Sorry Halstead."

Just then Jays eyes got wide, and a nervous expression over took his face. Erin followed his stare to a small group of girls just entering the party.

"Which one is she?" curiously Erin asked.

The question snapped Jay out of his thoughts. "Huh?...What?...Which one is what?"

"I'm not stupid Jay. One of the girls that just walked in is an ex right?"

"Red dress." He answered

Erin raised an eyebrow "really the blonde? Huh." She paused "So is she the reason I'm here?"

He looked back at Erin "No, I didn't even know she was going to be here. Last I heard she was living in Miami now."

"Oh, well do you wanna make her jealous?" Erin asked with a devious smirk.

Jay laughed. "I got this." She said before he got a chance to answer her previous question.

She took a small step closer so their bodies were pressed together.

"Now put your hand on my ass."

Jay furrowed his brow in confusion. "Come on Halstead. Trust me I know what I'm doing." He did as told.

She spoke again, "Alright now don't make eye contact but see if she's noticed yet."

He glanced up "I think she's looking…Shit she's walking this way" he whispered frantically.

"You sure she's looking?"

He quickly looked up again "Yeah definitely sure."

The last word had barely exited his mouth when Erin pressed her lips to his. Jay was in complete and utter shock. It took him a few seconds to begin kissing her back. At first the kiss was light and sweet, then it grew heavier and sexier. Erin slid her hands down onto his chest before pulling back. She smiled nodded toward the girl "I'll be in the bathroom." Leaving him to talk with his ex.

Erin returned about 15 minutes later. "So it worked right?"

Jay nodded "Yeah"

"Good. Told you I knew what I was doing. Now lets go dance. I love this song."

As she started to lead the way Jay grabbed her arm. "I really didn't know she was coming, and she has nothing to do with why I invited you. I just want to make sure you know that."

"I know Jay." She replied reassuringly. "Now lets go the songs almost over!" she said pulling him to the center of the dance floor.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks again to everyone reviewing, following, and favoriting. I love the feedback. The last chapter was fun to write as was this one, so enjoy.**

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Jay's sister drove them home from the reception. She had offered to be the designated driver swearing off alcohol as a result of the hangover she'd just endured following the bachelorette party. Jay and Erin walked into the house and up the stairs. The pair had sobered up quite a bit on the drive home, but they were definitely still feeling good. When they made it into Jay's old room Erin stood at the foot of the bed and pulled her hair to the side "Jay will you unzip me?" she asked in a quiet tone.

He walked over and unzipped the dress revealing her black lace bra and matching underwear. Before he even realized what he was doing he watched his fingertips glide down her back, starting between the shoulder blades continuing all the way to the small of her back. This sent chills down Erin's spine and she held her breath. Next his hands found the straps to the dress and he gently pushed them off her shoulders and down her arms letting the dress fall to the ground. Erin stepped out of the dress and turned around to face him.

Jay stared at her standing there in her bra and underwear. He had no idea what would happen next, but he knew what he wanted. He removed his jacket letting it fall into a heap on the floor, next his tie, his button-down, and then his pants all without ever breaking eye contact with her. When he had nothing on but his tee shirt and boxers he took a small step closer.

Their bodies were mere inches away from touching. The tension was building until finally Erin couldn't take it anymore. She reached for the bottom of his tee shirt and began to pull it up over his head. The second it was removed Jay crashed his lips into hers. He pulled her hips into his and they fell back onto the bed.

They were kissing was intensely and feverishly. He was over top of her now and kissing down her neck, as he unhooked the clasp of her bra he heard her say "Jay. Jay stop." He pulled back and looked into her eyes desperately as he panted trying to catch his breath.

"We can't. We're at your parents house." She hated to hear those words escape her mouth. She wanted him so badly, but she knew this wasn't the right place.

Jay rolled off of her and let out an exasperated sigh at his head hit the pillow. "We should have got a hotel room." He said half joking and half serious.

Erin laughed. She sat up holding the blankets to her chest reaching for the tee shirt Jay had just removed. She slipped it on and fell back down onto her side with her body facing his.

He rolled on his side to face her, and tucked one of her curls behind her ear. "Are you sure we can't just go to the car?" he said only partially joking.

"Wow because that'd be real classy Jay." She snarked back.

" . We'll just talk than."

"So Jay where's blinky?" she asked trying to suppress a laugh.

Jay tightened his jaw "You're not funny."

"12 is a little old for a security blanket don't cha think?"

"I was not 12! They exaggerated that for sure."

"Your aunts said you'd claim they exaggerated." She retorted with a huge grin.

"Well now they are officially dead to me."

Erin laughed, "I didn't just hear bad stories. Your family is really proud of you. They were all really sweet."

"Ok maybe I can find the kindness in my heart to forgive them then."

A more serious expression overtook her face. "It sounds like you had a really good childhood here."

"Yeah. I was really lucky."

"I like hearing about it. It gives me hope." She paused and where his hand was resting on her side Jay gave it a small squeeze reassuring her it was ok to continue.

"We see a lot of messed up shit everyday and sometimes its nice to be reminded that places like this, and families like yours exist."

She seemed so vulnerable in that moment. He'd never really seen her that way. He had always admired how fiercely strong his partner was, but seeing her like this was beautiful. An idea popped into his head.

His voice seemed excited and urgent "What time did you want to be home tomorrow?"

Confused Erin responded, "I hadn't really thought about it. Whenever I guess."

"Good" he grinned.

Intrigued Erin wondered, "Why do you ask?"

"You'll find out tomorrow. Good night." Then closed his eyes.

"Wait. No. Jay I wanna know!" She whispered frantically

"Patience young grasshopper."

Accepting the fact that Jay wouldn't tell her she sighed, "Ugh fine" and rolled over to go to sleep. Jay wrapped his arm around her pulling her in closer before nodding off.


	5. Chapter 5

**For those of you asking about when I update I post a chapter a day. No specific time just whenever I can get to my computer. I'm glad you guys liked last chapter it was my personal favorite so far. This one is really just wrapping up last chapter and leading into the next. Nothing too exciting sorry, but tomorrows is pretty good. :)**

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Jay woke up first this time. Erin was still in his arms the way she was when they fell asleep. His mind kept flashing back to the night before. It had been perfect, well almost perfect but he was still happy with how it ended up. A few minutes into his thoughts Erin began to stir in his arms. He watched as her eyelids fluttered open.

"Good morning."

"Morning" she sleepily responded almost inaudibly. She stretched and brought her hands to her face to wipe the sleep from her eyes. "Are you going to tell me what we're doing today?"

He smiled, "In a little bit, but right now I don't want to get up."

"Me either."

They stayed in bed in silence for a couple minutes before Erin spoke.

"Something smells really good."

Jay inhaled deeply through his nose "Mom must be making breakfast."

"Aww that's cute. Mrs. Voight used to make a big breakfast every Sunday morning, and Justin and Voight would always argue over the last piece of bacon." She laughed recalling the memory.

"Voight and Justin arguing? No way!" Jay said sarcastically.

"We should probably get up huh?"

"Yeah probably" Jay kissed the top of her head and rolled out of bed.

Erin watched as he stretched and looked through his suitcase for something to throw on, and go down to breakfast in. His body was perfect. She dint want to stare but she couldn't help herself. Watching his toned body got her heart racing.

Jay knew he had an audience. He could feel Erin eyeing him, and he loved every second of it. He threw on a shirt and shorts and went into the bathroom.

When Jay was gone Erin hopped up and threw on some jeans, a tee shirt, and pulled her hair into a bun. When he came out she went in a used the bathroom and brushed her teeth. Jay waited for her and when she was done they headed down stairs together.

Jay's mom and dad had just finished eating when Jay and Erin arrived in the kitchen.

"Morning, how are you two feeling after last night?" His dad asked.

"Pretty good actually." Jay hadn't even had a chance to think about the small hangover headache he had.

Now his mom spoke, "Good, so what time did you guys plan on going back?"

"Well Erin and I are going to go out for a few hours, then come back here to get our suitcases and say good bye before leaving around four probably."

"Ok your father and I have some errands to run, but we'll be back in time so see you off. Go ahead and help your self to breakfast." Then his parents left.

Jay and Erin loaded up on the bacon, eggs, and pancakes his mom had made. When they were finished Jay cleared the table.

"I'm going to go throw some jeans on and you'll probably wanna grab a jacket then we can leave."

"I haven't put on any makeup or anything yet Jay."

"You look great. I promise. Now we're leaving in five."

They were in the car now. "So you got to hear my aunts stories about my childhood. Now I'm going to give you a tour and tell you some stories they don't even know."

"Are you going to show me the spot where the neighbor girl decked you and gave you a black eye?"

"Damn it! They told you that one too? I bet they forgot to mention she was at least a foot taller then me and was pushing 100 pounds to my 60 in the second grade!"

"They said you made your mom drive you to the bus stop the rest of the year." She said laughing.

"Hell yeah I did. I was terrified."

Jay drove her past his high school, and told the story of how he got into a fist fight in the parking lot. He showed her is old favorite hangout places, and the grocery store where he had his first job stocking shelves. He told her about the time he broke his arm while trying to jump bike ramps he and his friends had made in elementary school, and drove past the lake where his dad would take him out fishing. Lastly he pulled into a gravel parking lot and turned off the engine.

The got out of the car and walked over to an old baseball diamond. They leaned against the fence looking at the overgrown field.

"This is the place I really wanted to show you. It was my favorite place in the world."

Erin watched him as he remembered the field he used to love.

"I hit my first out of the park homerun here when I was twelve. Top of the ninth bases loaded. I made all my important decisions here. Before graduation when I was trying to figure out what I was going to do next I came and sat out here one night and that's when I decided to enlist in the army. I came here again after I got back and decided to go to the academy to join the force. This is a great place."

Erin reached down and took his hand. He smiled at her and they headed back to the car in silence just enjoying each other's company.


	6. Chapter 6

**So this is an important chapter. I did my best not to rush it and really get into their heads especially in the second half, but my writing style has always been very straight to the point. Anyways I hope you enjoy.**

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The first few minutes of the drive back to Chicago were silent. It was a peaceful easy silence. Neither needed to say anything to feel content in each other's presence. Jay finally decided to speak.

"So I guess I should tell you why I asked you to come with me."

"Yeah I've been wondering about that."

"Honestly the reason seems really stupid looking back, but I'm happy with the way it turned out now." He was actually more than happy with his weekend. Being in his hometown with her was one of the best weekends he could remember.

Erin looked at him waiting for further explanation.

"Alright, so two weeks ago my mom called me. She was trying to set me up for the 100th time. To avoid it I told her I was seeing someone. When she asked what my girlfriends name was yours was the first that came to mind." He smiled then continued, "After that she called me everyday insisting that I bring my girlfriend to the wedding. She didn't stop until I asked you and you agreed to come."

Erin didn't say anything back she was soaking in the story she just heard. She had to admit his reasoning was a bit stupid. Why was it so hard for him to tell his mom to stop setting him up with random girls? But the part about her being the first name that came to mind stuck out from the rest of the story. The idea made her feel giddy like she was in middle school again finding out her crush liked her back.

"See I told you it was stupid." He said a bit embarrassed.

"Yeah it kinda is," she laughed. A few seconds later she asked, "So I was the first name you thought of?"

Jay placed the hand closest to her on her knee and continued to drive with the other. "Yeah. Are you really that surprised?"

"I don't know. Maybe a little." She replied trying to suppress a cheesy grin.

Not long after that Erin dozed off. During her nap she had a dream, or more of a nightmare that Voight found out about their weekend. He was livid. He handcuffed Jay to the cage and beat the hell out of him, and there was nothing she could do to help him.

When she woke up she knew it was just a dream, a bad nightmare, but it snapped her back into reality. They were partners. Sure this weekend had been amazing and he had been so sweet and charming, but they had to return to work tomorrow, and back to real life. As much as she hated the idea she knew that things had to go back to the way they were before the wedding. She had came as his fake girlfriend and she wouldn't come home as anything more.

Jay pulled the car up out front of her apartment building.

"Thank you Erin. I had a really amazing time with you." He said looking into her eyes.

Damn this is going to be difficult she thought to herself. "Yeah me too," she finally answered.

She looked to open the door and get the hell out of there as fast as possible when Jay spoke again.

"Can I come up?" he asked sweetly.

Erin wanted to bolt pretending like she didn't hear the question, but knew she couldn't. He deserved at least some type of explanation. She looked over at the innocent expression on his face and instantly felt terrible. Her stomach was churning from nerves, and her throat felt tight.

"Jay, this weekend was a lot of fun, but we're home now…. And we have to return to work tomorrow…It's just not a god idea. I'm sorry." She spoke softly trying to hide the fact that she regretted every word the second it came out of her mouth. She watched as a solemn expression appeared on Jays face and it hurt her to see. The last thing she had wanted was for either of them to get hurt. In fact that's why she was ending it right now before they got in any deeper. There was just too many variables, too many what ifs, and too many things hanging in the balance if the relationship went south. She had their jobs to worry about if Voight found out, and the damage that would happen to their partnership and entire unit if they broke up, and on top of that their job was dangerous what if one of them got seriously hurt or worse.

"Yeah keep it professional. Got it." He replied coldly.

Erin gave him one last apologetic look then got out of the car, grabbed her bag, and practically ran towards her building.

When she got to her apartment she dropped her stuff down and hurried to the window. He was gone. She knew she had no right to be angry with him, but she was anyways. Part of her had wanted so badly for him to ignore everything she said and chase after her, but he drove away instead. She wanted to hear a knock on the door and for him to kiss her passionately without saying a word the second she answered it. She wanted them to finish what they started last night before she stopped him. Instead she sighed and fell back onto her couch emotionally exhausted, and all alone. She felt so out of control of her own feelings, and she hated it. Powerlessness is something Erin Linday had not allowed herself to feel in 13 years. Not since she got clean and took control over her own life. She sat there for hours thinking until she gave herself a headache. Part of her had wanted him to fight for her, but at the same time she was relieved that he hadn't. It would be easier this way.

Jay took off the second he watched her disappear through the front door of her building. What the hell just happened? He wondered. He thought things were going great and he was really falling for Erin. Now he was confused, embarrassed, hurt, and really pissed. Pissed at her, pissed at himself, and pissed at the whole situation.

When he put his car in park outside his own apartment he hit the steering wheel with the base of his hand in an attempt to let out some aggression. It didn't help. He was going home for the night to drink as much as it took to make this feeling go away. After his first drink he thought about driving back to her apartment, but he talked himself out of it. After the second drink he put his coat on grabbed his eyes and sat in the drivers seat before turning around and going back inside. And when he'd completly lost count of how many drinks he'd had he looked up the number of a cab company to take him to her but couldn't allow himself to dial it. He didn't want to seem crazy, he didn't want to seem desperate, and he didn't want Erin Lindsay to make him feel like this, but he couldn't help it.


	7. Chapter 7

**I pulled some more characters into this chapter and it was really fun to do. I especially enjoyed writing Burgess. I think Erin is more reserved and likes to keep to herself in comparison to Kim who seems more outspoken, so I though some dialog between the two could be interesting. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think.**

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Monday morning Jay rolled out of bed feeling hangover and dreading having to see her at work. The last thing he wanted to do was relive last night over again. The wound was still fresh and the rejection hurt like a bitch.

When he arrived at the precinct he walked up the stairs directly behind Ruzek. Adam was in his typical chipper, eager to begin the day mood. This annoyed Jay even more than it usually did. When they entered the unit Erin was already at her desk sipping her first cup of coffee and beginning her day's paperwork.

Whenever Erin is upset about something she buries herself in her work and this was no exception. She went to the station an extra 45 minutes early because she couldn't sleep and needed something to focus on beside Jay.

"Hey Linds how was your weekend?" Ruzek asked sincerely.

Jay's ears perked up curious about what her response would be.

"It was fine" was all she said without even looking up from her desk.

Jay felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. 'Fine' isn't exactly the word he'd use to describe the weekend they had just spent together, and 'Fine' is definitely not how he'd choose to describe how he felt after she rejected him last nigh. 'Fine' is the furthest thing from what he was feeling right now.

Ruzek talked about his weekend of wedding planning with Wendy as Jay and Erin both pretended to listen. Then Adam asked "Hey Halstead what did you do this weekend."

Now Erin was listening. She couldn't look up from her paperwork because Jay would notice but she was extremely curious about what his response to Adam would be.

"Oh nothing special." Jay said this coldly with spite and a sense of maliciousness Erin had never seen from him before. The words felt like poison on his lips but he was too angry to really care.

Ouch. I probably deserved that she thought to herself. Jay looked over to her to see her response to his comment, but she refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her upset. She just sat in her chair sipping her coffee.

Erin wasn't sure if they were lucky they didn't have a case today so they didn't have to be in confined to a car together, or unlucky because they were stuck in the bullpen doing their best to ignore one another all day.

The entire day was incredibly awkward. When she went to get another cup of coffee he was in the break room. When she went to use the bathroom she had to walk past him at his desk. When she was at her own desk he was right across from her at his. Wherever she looked there he was.

The second she could leave she bolted out of there. As she was walking down the steps of intelligence she saw Burgess turning in her squad car keys for the night.

"Burgess"

"Oh hey detective what's up?" Kim asked happily.

"Are you free? I _need_ a drink."

"Yeah I'm up for a night at Molly's but I carpooled with Atwater this morning so do you mind stopping by my place so I can change out of my uniform real quick."

"No that's perfectly fine with me. Lets go."

Kim lived in a small apartment just a few blocks away. Erin came in with her and walked the five flights of stairs because the elevator was broken. The officer's place was a bit messy. She had clothes strewed in every room, and takeout containers, and empty beer bottles covering the countertop.

"Sorry about the mess. I wasn't expecting company."

"No big deal" Erin replied moving a pile of clothes to clear a seat for herself on the couch.

"I'll be done in five minutes and ready to go."

Kim yelled through the bedroom door while changing "Don't take this the wrong way I'm glad you asked me, but why didn't you just go with Halstead like usual?" she inquired. Kim was curious she always had to ask question, and when she got her answer she always had another question to follow up with. But she was a cop trying to become a detective, so asking question was kind of part of the job description.

"Umm we're not really on speaking terms right now." Erin replied, immediately wishing she wouldn't have for fear of Burgess' next question.

"You guys are fighting?" She yelled again through the door.

"I guess kind of. I don't know it's complicated."

Kim came out in a pair of dark wash jeans and a black low cut shirt. Kim took interest in the 'it's complicated' line Lindsay had given her, and now she wanted to hear more. She plopped down in the chair across from Erin disregarding the pile of clothes she was sitting on.

"It's complicated eh?" She said rising her eyebrows "Care to elaborate on that?"

"What are you trying to imply Burgess?" Erin asked with a bit of annoyance in her voice.

"Oh nothing" she smirked "I just see the way you two act in public, and can't help but think more goes on behind closed doors. If you know what I mean" she said slyly with a hint of accusation.

Erin let out a sarcastic laugh "That's where you're wrong Burgess. _Nothing_ is going on with us outside of work." She stressed the word nothing for emphasis.

Kim didn't believe her for one second. "Ok, but you want there to be right?"

Erin was taken aback and at a loss for words. Burgess was balsy she'd give her that. "I don't think my personal life is really any of your business." She stood up to make her way towards the door. "Never mind Molly's I'm going home."

"Ok I'll just ask Jay then." She said it nonchalantly knowing it would stop Erin.

She whipped around quickly. "You wouldn't."

"Well I'm curious and if you're not going to tell me what's going on I have to find out somehow." She said smugly knowing she'd just won.

Kim was good. Erin couldn't help but respect her conniving way of getting what she wanted. "Fine." Erin sat back down onto the leather couch. A smile appeared on Kim's face showing how pleased she was with herself.

"We went to his cousins wedding this weekend. After the reception we almost had sex, but I stopped it because we were at his parents house in his old childhood bedroom. When we got back home last night I ended things because with work it's just too complicated." She was talking so fast trying to get it all out and be done with the conversation.

The pleased expression faded from Kim's face. This time she was the one at a loss for words, because she could tell Erin was really upset.

Erin looked down and played with her fingers. She wanted to run out of the apartment but that seemed too obvious. She felt vulnerable and exposed and she absolutely hated it.

She finally stood up "I think I'm gonna call it a night. I'll just see you tomorrow at work. I'm not really up for Molly's anymore" and she headed for the door.

Kim called out "Erin, I'm sorry I shouldn't have pried."

"It's fine" She lied. "I'm just… I'm just gonna go now." And she left.


	8. Chapter 8

**This story is starting to come to an end. I'm not exactly sure how many chapters will be left but it won't be many.**

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Tuesday Jay called in sick to work. It wasn't a complete lie he really was sick. Maybe he had brought the sickness upon himself by drinking way too much the night before, but nonetheless he felt terrible.

Erin was more then grateful when she learned Jay wasn't going to be at work today. She knew that they couldn't go on like this forever. They were still partners, but right now they both just needed some space.

Jay finally rolled out of bed at 4 pm. He devoured a slice of cold leftover peperoni pizza and fell back onto his brown leather couch to watch some television. He stared at the TV not really taking it in. He was too busy thinking. Thinking about what an idiot he was being. Drinking too much and calling in to work was not who he was. He had to let it go, let her go. He'd been rejected by girls before, and had always moved on. He wouldn't let this time be any different. Erin was his partner, a great partner at that, and he had to accept that that's all they would ever be. He would go to work tomorrow and be fine. He would talk to Erin. He'd tell her he was sorry for acting like an ass and that she was right and they needed to go back to the way things were before.

When he finally felt like he could breathe again, like his mind was clear, and his ego and heart back intact his phone rang. He looked down at the screen and saw Voight's name. Curious to find out why his boss would be calling him when he knew he was sick he answered.

"Hello Voight what's up?"

"Something happened. Lindsay's hurt I'm in the waiting room at the hospital now."

Jay almost dropped the phone. His heart jumped up into his throat and his stomach sank. He opened his mouth to tell Voight he was coming but no words would come out. He was frozen. "Halstead are you there?"

Voight's question brought him back "Yeah I'm on my way." He hung up and ran to his room to throw on some clothes. Jay grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter and sprinted down the three flights of stairs and out to his car. He would break every traffic law on the way to the hospital. He knew that if he got pulled over any cop would understand his situation. Traffic laws don't apply when your partner's in the hospital.

The whole drive all he could think was that it was his fault. If he hadn't acted so childish and just went to work today this never would have happened. He would have been there to protect her. He was her partner and it was his duty to have her back. He had failed her, and if she wasn't ok he would never forgive himself.

Anger was Jay's go to emotion when he was terrified. He pulled into the hospital parking lot and there was a family slowly making their way across the cross walk. He laid on the horn telling them to get out of his way. Then he couldn't find a parking spot. He smacked the steering wheel "Son of a bitch!" He couldn't believe this was happening right now. He finally found a spot in the back of the parking lot. He sprinted to entrance of the hospital. When he got to Voight he was completely out of breath.

"What…..Happened?" he asked trying to suck in air.

"We were on a bust. After we caught the bastards I radioed her in, and she didn't answer. When we found her she was unconscious and in a pool of her own blood. The son of a bitch must have hit her over the head with something because she had a huge knot on the forehead. When she fell back she cracked her head open that's where the blood came from. "

"She's going to be ok right?"

"Yeah she's tough." Voight wasn't sure if he was trying to convince Jay or himself.

Jay sat with his head in his hands. He couldn't believe where he was right now. How did everything get so messed up? What if she wasn't going to be okay? The last time they saw each other he had said terrible things he didn't mean. His 'Nothing special' comment kept replaying in his head. He could hear himself saying it and could picture the cold expression he had on his face when he said it. He was trying to hurt her, and he regretted it now. He'd do anything to take it back.

An hour later the doctor entered the waiting room. "Family of Erin Lindasay."

Jay and Voight both hopped up and hurried over to him. "Ms. Lindsay has a mild traumatic brain injury. She suffers a grade three concussion; we know this because she went unconscious. We had to put seven staples in the back of her head. Until we can do an MRI of the brain we won't know if there is any swelling or permanent damage, but as of right now it looks like she will make a full recovery."

Jay let out a sigh of relief and put his hand on Voight's shoulder.

"She needs to rest but you can see her for a bit. The nurse will be here in a minute to take you to her"

Voight gave Jay a look then looked down at Jay's hand resting on his shoulder. Jay pulled his had back quickly. "Oh sorry Sargent." Just then the nurse came out to lead the way.

Voight went in first. Jay waited back by the door. He couldn't go inside. He didn't know what to say and felt too guilty.

"How you feeling?" Voight asked walking over to her bed.

Her head was wrapped covering the wounds and she had an IV of fluids in her hand. She looked exhausted but other than that Jay was surprised at how healthy she appeared.

"I've been better that's for sure, but do you think the staples will set off the metal detector when I walk into the precinct?" she joked with a smile.

Jay couldn't help but smile from the door. She was as quick and witty as ever and he now knew she was going to be ok.

Voight smiled and shook is head. "You wont be back to work until you have fully recovered. I'm not taking any chances."

Erin rolled her eyes. "It's a bump on the head Voight. I'm fine." She replied irritated.

He turned around to Jay "Well stop standing around and get your ass in here Halstead! What are you doin?"

Jay walked over to the other side of Erin's bed. "I'm going to call the station and give them an update. I'll be back in a few." And with that Voight left the room.

"Hey" Jay said awkwardly with a half smile.

"Hey" Erin echoed staring up at him.

"The one day I don't come in you decide to go and get your self beat up. Nice going Lindsay." He joked.

"Maybe if I would have had some back up." She quipped back.

His expression got serious. "Yeah I'm really sorry about that. I've been acting like an idiot. I should have been there today. This is my fault."

Erin felt bad. She wasn't really kidding when she implied it wouldn't had happened if she had back up, but at the same time she didn't want Jay to blame himself. "It's part of the job Jay. It's not your fault." She gave him a small smile.

Just then the nurse walked in. Jay and Erin both looked over to her. "She needs her rest. You can come back and see her tomorrow."

Jay finally reached out and touched Erin. Placing his hand gently on her arm "I'll see you later."

"Jay it's really not you fault, so don't beat yourself up over it."

Jay smiled and nodded. Then he left for the night.


	9. Chapter 9

Erin was released from the hospital two days later. After the MRI results came out clear and the doctors confirmed she would recover fully she was allowed to go home.

Jay hadn't been to see her since the night she got hurt. Sure he had thought about it. He'd thought about it relentlessly actually, but always ended up talking himself out of going. He didn't know what he would say so he chose not to go.

Voight brought Erin home to her apartment Thursday afternoon.

"Home sweet home." Erin said entering her living room with Hank in tow. He sat her things down and when she was all settled on the couch with the remote and glass of water in reach Voight spoke "I gotta get back to the station but call me if you need anything."

"Alright, tell the guys I miss them and will be back in two weeks."

"You'll be back when you're ready. When the staples are gone and the Doc gives you the go ahead you'll be back. Until then you don't steep foot into that station you hear me?"

Erin rolled her eyes dramatically and pursed her lips. "Yeah. I got it."

"How is she?" Jay asked the second Voight entered intelligence.

"Recovering good. Maybe you'd know that if you went and saw your partner Halstead." Jay hung his head ashamed.

On his way out of the precinct for the night Jay passed Burgess. "Hey Jay can I talk to you?" A confused look over came Jays face. He didn't mean for it to happen he was just surprised. "Uh yeah sure."

"I'm off in five minutes I'll meet you out front?"

"Ok." Jay walked out side and down the front stairs confused. What in the world could Kim Burgess have to talk to him about?

"So what's this about?" he asked when Kim met him at the end of the steeps. They walked towards the parking lot.

"Are you and Lindsay speaking again?"

He stopped walking. "How do you know we weren't talking?"

"I'm trying to help you Jay. Just answer the question."

"No, I guess we're not."

She could hear the sadness in his voice. "You two make no sense to me." She replied shaking her head.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He said reaching his car and stopping.

"It means that you care about her as more than a partner Jay, and she feels the exact same way. She just needs to hear it from you. She's terrified and just wants you to reassure her that everything will be okay."

How does Burgess know all this and how come I don't? He wondered with his mouth hanging open but no words ready to exit.

"She…Erin told you that?"

"It doesn't matter what she said. I knew what she meant." He just stared at her contemplating what to do with all the information he had just been given.

"Now's kinda the part where you're supposed to go see her" Burgess finally yelled laughing at him.

Kim smiled proud of herself while she watched Jay drive off.

He got to her apartment five minutes later and knocked on her door. No answer so he tried her cell. She didn't pick up. He knew Erin well enough to come to the conclusion that she had snuck out for some fresh air while Voight was still working. We waited at her door knowing she had to return at some point.

Twenty minutes went by and he tried her cell again, but still no answer. He slid his back down the door taking a seat. He looked at the time on his phone. If she's not home in ten minutes I'll call Voight because something might be wrong he thought to himself.

Less than five minutes later he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Sure enough it was Erin.

"Jay? What are you doing here?" With perplex look on her face she asked.


	10. Chapter 10

**This will be the finale chapter. Thank you to everyone that has read reviewed, favorited, and followed my story. You have made my first fanfic experience enjoyable. I hope you like the ending. :)**

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Upon seeing his partner walking towards her apartment door Jay jumped up onto his feet. He grabbed the couple of grocery bags Erin was carrying, and she fumbled through her bag looking for her keys. As she opened the door Jay began.

"I uh, I need to talk to you."

He followed her through her living room and to the kitchen setting the bags down on the counter.

"What we're you doing out anyways? Voight would be pissed if he knew you left." He inquired.

"That's why I didn't tell him. What he doesn't know can't hurt him. I was hungry and had nothing here to eat, plus I needed some air." She answered casually even though she was really nervous about what Jay needed to talk to her about. She convinced herself it was probably something to do with work.

He emptied the bags placing the merchandise on the counter top while she put them away.

"You could have called me. I would have went to the store for you."

"Jay we've had one five minute conversation in the last week. I wasn't going to call you to go and buy me groceries." She spoke while continuing to put away the food she bought. Jay couldn't see the expression on her voice but he could tell she was angry with him.

"I would have done it Erin. You know that." He said sincerely.

She turned to face him "I know you would have Jay, but if you had really wanted to hear from me you would have came and visited, or at least called me in the last few days. But you didn't, I can take a hint."

She looked back down at the counter and tightened her grip around the edge tensing her shoulders.. She needed to say that. It was bothering her that he hadn't even bothered to check on her. She knew that Voight was updating everyone in the unit, but she wanted him to take the initiative to checkup on her himself. Even if it was just as her partner, it was better than him not caring at all.

He gulped. She'd obviously noticed that he'd been avoiding her the last few days. It was now or never he had to tell her how he felt.

"Erin look at me. "

She turned to face him resting her hip against the counter.

"I know I've been a disappointment the last few days. I have a lot of regrets. I'm sorry I was an idiot and drank too much so I couldn't be there when you needed me. I'm sorry I didn't visit you the last two days because I felt too guilty. I'm sorry I tried to hurt you by telling Ruzek that my weekend with you was 'nothing special,' when in fact it was the best weekend of my life. But most of all I'm sorry I drove away instead of running after you and telling you how I felt on Sunday. I know we're partners and that it's complicated with work and Voight, but none of that matters. I know we can figure it out because…."

He paused and rested his hand on her cheek, taking a step forward to bring his body closer to hers. His heart was beating so fast and loud he thought she could probably hear it. Her eyes were locked on his waiting for his next few words.

"Because I love you Erin Lindsay." He finished.

Silence. She just continued to stare at him and Jay was sure he was about to throw up on her kitchen floor. He wasn't sure what he had expected but this was definitely not it. He took a small slow step back wards away from her. Finally Erin broke the silence.

"Why?" she asked barely audible.

Now Jay was completely lost. What did she mean why? Why did he just tell her that, or why did he love her? What exactly was she asking him? Before his mind could figure out what the question even meant his lips started moving and words were exiting.

"The way your eyes light up when you get excited after figuring out a case. The way you always have something quick and witty to say back to me. Your dimples that simultaneously make you look adorable and sexy. How protective you are over the people you care about. The way that you are the strongest person I've ever meet in my life, yet still have these glimpses of beautiful vulnerability. Those are some of the reasons I fell in love with you" He finished.

This time Erin took the step forward rested her hands on his chest, and brought her lips to his closing the space between them. She smiled into his mouth and pulled away.

A look of utter confusion consumed Jays face.

"I had to make sure" She said giving him a small smile that said sorry I put you through that.

"Make sure what?"

"That you didn't just convince yourself that you loved me because it was forbidden by Voight or you felt guilty for not being there when I got hurt. I needed to know why you loved me to make sure it was real, because I love you too."

The second she finished he meet her lips with his. This kiss was more passionate that the last. They were consumed in the moment. They were in love.

Jay pulled back and rested his forehead to hers. Staring into her eyes in disbelief at how much his life had just changed.

She stared back into his crystal clear blue eyes. Never had a single moment in her life felt so perfect. Finally she spoke, "I think you should take me to finish what we started Saturday night." She said suggestively with a huge grin covering her face.

Jay scooped her up in his arms and she laughed. He missed that laugh. Her lips grazed his neck while he carried her to her bedroom. He laid her down gently and for the first time they gave their whole selves to one another. Every second was perfect an outlet for emotion, passion, and love.

Afterwards Erin snuggled close into his chest.

"The way you complain about not driving everyday when I know you don't really care that much. Your ability to keep up with my sarcasm and playful banter. The way you talk about your family, and I can tell how much you love them. The way your blue eyes make me weak every time I look into them. The way you make me feel instantly safe just by being around. Those are just some of the reason I fell in love with you Jay Halstead."


End file.
